so yeah lately i've been down. again. seems i only post here when i'm feeling down.

[insert teenage angst here]
[insert teenage angst here]
[insert teenage angst here]
[insert teenage angst here]
[insert teenage angst here]

does 19 count as teenage?

i'm actually kinda sick of the same words i type over and over again. being alone. being lonely. being sad. being depressed. seriously Marie, isn't there anything else you should be saying right now????

of course there's a lot more to say. it's just that i'm feeling lost, that's all. i'm pretty sure i'm a sociable person. i've got friends. not just imaginary friends. i'm constantly updated and connected; i don't think i've missed out on anything lately. deadlines excluded.

i've tried going back to Gaia, just for the lulz. maybe i'd find something else. maybe i'd find a trigger to dispel my neverending whining. but then i realized, even if i met new friends there, the conversations wouldn't really last coz...

i don't have any real interests anyway. apparently i'm good with anything, but i just know the basics. sometimes i envy my other friends for hanging out with other people with nothing else in mind but [insert obsession here]. i really didn't want to be that so i could fit in with just about any crowd. an all-purpose jigsaw puzzle piece, apparently. i've just realized its downsides just now.

ah well. it's what i chose, right? might as well make do with what i already have.